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Two NaNo Excerpts - Rated M

I just thought I would share two excerpts from the chick lit novel I wrote for NaNo. These are unedited, and the novel is far from being done. I re-read parts of it the other day and realized I'd written the same scene at least three times, each time slightly differently and at different points in the storyline. (huh?!?! I mean, my memory is bad but that really takes the cake!!)

Anyway, I'm sharing these just for fun. They're actually two of my favorite "pieces" of the novel even though they're still incredibly rough and need to be refined and fleshed out (this is a first draft!! I'm sorry!!).

Anyway, with Oasis taking up my focus again, I probably won't get to editing this novel any time soon, and I wanted to share before NaNo 2009 becomes a distant memory. :)

(I'm rating this post as "M" because my characters swear like rig pigs. And like to talk about sex. A lot. Which probably tells you way too much about my own sex life...)

---------------------------------

Excerpt #1:

There were times when Tilly would look at her hands and it seemed like she could see, superimposed over them like a hologram, a vision of what they would look like in forty years time. She could almost see through the years to what she would become.


Other times, as she pondered her life and the choices she'd made to get her to her present state, she swore she caught glimpses from the corner of her eye of all the Tillies who might have been, standing beside her and receding into the distance like looking into a funhouse mirror. The Tilly who was the archaeologist, the one who was a paleontologist, the historian, the housewife. They were glimpses of the roads not taken, the paths not followed.


They gave her a chill of loneliness every time she glimpsed them, because she swore not a single one of them was satisfied or happy with the life she'd chosen, or where she was currently standing.



Excerpt #2 (Tilly is speaking with her best friend, Lana):


“God, there are days I miss the 80s,” Tilly sighed.


“What? The big hair, shoulder pads even football players wouldn't wear, the powder blue eye shadow?”


“The guys in pants so tight you could take their pulse without ever laying a finger on them?”


“Oh – yes. Well, I never said the 80s were all bad.”


Tilly laughed. “Dwight Yoakam in those painted on jeans.”


“Clint Black's best asset being his ass.”


“And his voice,” Tilly protested.


“He sang, too?”


Tilly laughed.


“What brought on this nostalgia kick anyway?”


“Cruising YouTube. I came across a Rod Stewart video from 1989. Holy Dinah! I'm amazed he didn't injure himself.”


“Spandex is a remarkable thing.”


“So 'tis, so 'tis.”


“I'm pretty sure the young hearthrobs today wear just as tight pants.”


“But they're all babies, and I really don't have any celebrity crushes anymore.”


“Mel Gibson?”


“Not since his arrest.”


“Harrison Ford?”


“Well, that goes without saying! I guess I mean new celebrity crushes.”


“I thought you had the hots for whatshisname – that guy -”


“Josue Cruz?”


“Yeah, him.”


“Well, okay – but I've only really seen him in one show and I'm more in love with the character than the actor.”


“You know, Tilly, you don't always have to be so precise about things. Just enjoy the hormone rush without thinking about it.”


“I do! Especially when I'm staring at his picture on my desktop, thinking those are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.”


“From asses to eyes -”


“I have gotten old! Although...”


“What?”


“I have to admit, I've spent a lot of time with my DVDs trying to get a good look at his ass.”


“No luck?”


“None. Not a clear ass-shot to be seen.”


“The disappointment -”


“Is crushing. I'm seriously considering writing the show to complain – except, of course, it was cancelled a couple of years ago. The bastards. Don't they know I need my hormone rush wherever I can get it?”


“Where is he now?”


“Oh, there's a new series coming out soon, filming in Vancouver, actually. I'm hoping for nakedness.”


Lana laughed. “You're a disgusting tramp!”


“But you love me anyway.”


“That's why I love you! You should go to Vancouver, see if you can meet him.”


“Oh – because I'm such a femme fatale! Not to mention a stalker! No, I'm perfectly happy to admire from afar.”


“Like Poor Unsuspecting Schmuck?”


“Exactly! Like admiring works of art. Beautiful to look at, but where the hell would I put them?”


“Oh, God – it really has been a long time for you, hasn't it?”

-------------------------------------------

Yes, this is based on a certain actor *cough* and while I've never had this exact conversation, I've had many like them with various friends. Hey - write what you know, right?? :D

Anyway, two little rough, rough, rough excerpts which don't really tell you anything about the novel, do they? Ummm...it's about a woman in her 40s having a mid-life crisis and the things that happen to her over the course of about 6 months to a year (or possibly longer...the timeline's a little fuzzy).

I'm not certain if I like how the novel turned out, and what happened to the characters - but I do know I like pieces of it and I like the potential of it, and to be able to say that about an original piece of fiction that I wrote makes me more incredibly happy than I can really express without sounding like a total idiot.

I believe NaNoEdMo is in March, right??? :D

(Although I have to say, I think I'll do the sci fi story next year... *shakes head*

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
rubberbisquit
Dec. 10th, 2009 11:59 pm (UTC)
Yep, NaNoEdMo is March. Congrats on the win and those ARE GREAT excerpts. Very very awesome. That conversation . . . your dialog is phenominal!

“I have to admit, I've spent a lot of time with my DVDs trying to get a good look at his ass.”

I've done that! *jumps up and down and waves her arms like a maniac* A LOT! Krycek. Oh man Krycek. When the car exploded in season three and he jumped out and then there was the GLORIOUS ass shot of him. Hours of my life were lost staring at that. *sigh* Good memories.

Again, great dialog. You've always had a real knack for it! :)
shirleyann66
Dec. 11th, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
A quick little note to say "yay!!" I've been seeing you happily commenting away and just haven't had a chance to respond to anything. :)

And since I'm avoiding an unpleasant e-mail at work, I thought I would take this opportunity to say "hi! It's great to see you!!"

Thanks for your kind words about my excerpts. *blush* I'm glad you liked them. :D

I've done that! *jumps up and down and waves her arms like a maniac*

LOL - I'm so, so, SO glad to know I'm not the only one who does this!!!

*sigh* Good memories.

Ah, yes. I agree... Not specifically Krycek for me (but it's probably better not to get into details about Dirty Dancing and certain scenes with Patrick Swayze... hours? Yes. Literally. Hours....)

Again, glad you liked them; glad to see you - and I'm going to be responding to various comments from various people (I'm really behind) this weekend! :D

onceiwasaturtle
Dec. 12th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
Nice work! Those little excerpts do show intense promise -- I really want to read the rest of it now! :-p (Are you going to try and get it published?)

NaNoEdMo is in March ... and ... I'm not sure, I think I want to start editing before then myself! I'm doing NaNoFiMo right now; almost halfway done with their 30,000 word goal, but the other half of their goal is to finish that novel. It's looking like I might actually manage that! (My FMC just made it to the area where the big climactic battle will occur.) Then I'll have an 80,000+ word rough draft to edit.... I think I'll take a week or two off at the beginning of January and then dive right in! (I don't want to loose the head of steam I've built up around this. I might not be able to wait that long, but it would probably be a good idea to let some more ideas percolate before I start editing. I know I have a lot of scenes to add in! And then I have to tighten the writing up and polish everything. I think I'll go through at least 2-3 drafts before I'm ready for anybody to to let anybody proof read it for me....)
shirleyann66
Dec. 28th, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
Sorry for taking so long to respond to your comment here - I've been so far behind on my LJ stuff. :(

(Are you going to try and get it published?)

Hmmmm...you know, I'm really not sure. At this point the answer is "no", but that could change once I begin editing it. If I were to publish it, I'm more likely to try the self-publishing route (because I just can't handle rejection LOL). But...we'll see.

I see you're making great progress on your novel - yayay! \o/ I'm looking forward to reading it when you're ready for me. :D
onceiwasaturtle
Dec. 28th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
No problem, I know how that is! ^^

Self publishing is so tempting! I take rejection hard, also. I want to try the traditional publishing route first, but if that doesn't work then I'll definitely self publish.

Thanks! It's so exciting -- I'm less than 1,000 words away from the NaNoFiMo goal right now and could very well have a completed rough draft by the end of the night! Only a teeny tiny bit to add on at the end!!! (Well, knowing me, it'll probably wind up taking 2 days and 3,500+ words.... We'll see.)

I'm going to pick up a new laptop with a bigger screen tonight as I have Christmas money to spend and I found a great deal with 0% APR (if they still have any in stock). That will make editing SO much easier! XD

Also, if you're looking for proofreaders, I'd be happy to volunteer!
shirleyann66
Dec. 31st, 2009 08:46 pm (UTC)
Also, if you're looking for proofreaders, I'd be happy to volunteer!

Awesome! I'll keep that in mind when/if I'm ever at that point!! LOL
onceiwasaturtle
Jan. 1st, 2010 05:12 am (UTC)
:-D
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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