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Title: A Better Man (and strong)
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 1/1
Pairing:  Nathan Wuornos/Sarah Vernon
Spoilers:  The whole series is fair game, but especially the episode Sarah.
Summary:  He's a good man, a strong man, a better man than this.  What went through Nathan's mind in the moment on the beach?
Words:  314
Disclaimer: I do not own Haven or the characters therein; I can only wish I was that clever and creative!  :D



He'd actually managed to take a step away.


And then her voice, soft and mournful, "Why do I always go for the shy ones?" and he froze as a million thoughts sped through his mind.


She wasn't Audrey; he was with Jordan; he was in 1955 for Christ's sake, and if kissing Sarah Vernon wasn't doing something that would impact the space-time continuum, he didn't know what was. But she was vulnerable, and deeply alone in the core of her, just like Audrey (like Lucy? like all the incarnations before Sarah?) and Nathan wanted her to know he understood, that he wanted to do whatever was necessary to soothe that loneliness.


Except he had to get back to 2010 without damaging his reality - or what Audrey said was his reality - and kissing Sarah would not help that. At all.


Only...she wasn't just Sarah Vernon. She was, beneath the surface, the strong, compassionate, funny woman he knew - he knew her, somehow, in the heart of him; and no matter what she was called or the memories she had, he knew the woman underneath it all, and loved her just the same.


He turned to face her, to give Sarah some explanation. He didn't want to leave her feeling like he'd rejected her; like he didn't (love) want her. He simply couldn't do this to her because he had to go back to 2010, and leave her behind in 1955. He could resist her, because he had to resist her. It wasn't fair.


He met her eyes, and thought he was a good man, a better man, a stronger man than this, but he knew, even before he fell to his knees beside her, before he cupped her face and kissed her (her, not just Sarah or Lucy or Audrey, but the person she was beneath all of them), that he was lying.

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shirleyann66
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Quotes

"All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need...fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little --"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

-- Susan and Death in Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

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"And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based."

-- Lord Vetinari in Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

---------------------

They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library.

-- Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

---------------------

As a wizard, it was something that Ponder had only before encountered in acorns: a tiny soundless voice which said, yes, I am but a small, green, simple object - but I dream about forests.

-- Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett

---------------------

In the 24th century, there will be no hunger. There will be no greed. And every child will know how to read.

-- Gene Roddenberry, as repeated by Jonathan Frakes in the documentary How William Shatner Changed the World

---------------------

We've got two lives, one we're given and the other one we make
And the world won't stop, and actions speak louder
Listen to your heart, and what your heart might say
Everything we got, we got the hard way.

-- Mary Chapin Carpenter, The Hard Way from the album Come On, Come On

---------------------

Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want.

-- John Mayer, Waiting on the World to Change from the album Continuum

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Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow."

-- Mary Anne Radmacher, as seen in Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Tales to Inspire

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I never loved the soldier
Until there was a war.
Or thought about tomorrow
'til my baby hit the floor.
I only talk to God
When somebody's about to die.
I never cherished freedom
Freedom never cries.

-- Five for Fighting, Freedom Never Cries from the album Two Lights

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It may sound absurd: but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed: but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream

-- Five for Fighting, Superman (It's Not Easy) from the album American Town

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Had a dream last night took a time travellin' ride
Back to my childhood where those monsters reside
They snack on innocence and dine on self-esteem
But I like to be in touch with what makes me scream
Vampires, mummies and the Holy Ghost
These are the things that terrify me the most.
No alien, psychopath or MTV host
Scares me like vampires,mummies and the Holy Ghost.

-- Jimmy Buffett, Vampires, Mummies and the Holy Ghost from the album Fruitcakes

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"I want to believe that... the dead are not lost to us. That they speak to us... as part of something greater than us - greater than any alien force. And if you and I are powerless now, I want to believe that if we listen, to what's speaking, it can give us the power to save ourselves."

-- Fox Mulder, The X-Files from the episode The Truth, pt. 2
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